05.06.11

My friend Cat trying out the new exercise machine that my dad brought home haha. You just stand there and it shakes your whole body, not sure how it works but supposedly it does? It's nice to be at home and just relax. Literally do nothing but just sitting in the warm sun thinking about life while listening to music.

I'm always so conflicted when I come home. Home is one of the places where I run out of patience and am easily frustrated. Contradictory, huh? You would think that learning more about God's love for me it would transform all aspects of my life, but it's always the hardest when it comes to family. I don't know what it is. Actually I do know what it is...sometimes. I am easily discouraged but it's good that I'm able to recognize that and ask God to be more involved in that part of my life. In all parts of my life, really. But sometimes I wonder, is it hopeless? Is the dream that I have merely a dream? Man, I don't know. Not only that, what do you do when the people closest to you seem so far from God? The same words that you share to encourage fellow believers doesn't offer the same power to those who aren't. What then?

This is what happens when my thoughts are allowed to go and go and go and go. It's trouble!